by Alice Tanner L'98

 Yells echoing throughout the room. Wailing sirens and flashing lights. Children crying for their parents. Yes: we were in the arcade room at Six Flags Great Adventure. A small group of us, including Bob, were avidly feeding quarters into various games in exchange for fistfuls of worthless little tickets. After a bit, we scurried to the counter, eager to see what our skeeball prowess had won us, only to discover that our talents were equal only to dinky plastic rings and bouncy balls. Most of us were disheartened, although Bob seemed strangely thrilled. With his famous Bob-grin and a flourish, he showed us his prize: several hideously tacky gold chains. The rest of us remained understandably confused. Bob, however, jubilantly threw the chains around his neck and proceeded to unbutton his shirt most of the way down to reveal his undershirt. When still met with looks of confusion and skepticism, Bob grinned even wider, threw out his arms as if to say, "What? Is this not the most spectacular sight you've ever seen??!" and explained that he was now a big hairy Italian man. Laughing, adjusting his chains and unbuttoned shirt, Bob the Fake Gold Chain Adorned Hairy Italian donned his oversized felt jester's hat, and sauntered off through the park.

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